from the archive: notes on survival

It is helpful to keep going.

i. Spring is structure built on the bones of absence.

ii. My therapist said I should make a list of things I know for sure. Here is what I know for sure: I am still alive. I miss the world as it was, & my neighbour down the hall with the small, annoying dog who refused to stop yapping at all hours of the night. Yesterday I made iced chai, sat on the deserted lawn, & drank three glasses beneath the 4 P.M. sun. I keep trying to continue this list & I can’t think of what else to add.

iii. Out of nowhere & without context this week, the people I love began sending me blue whale emojis. First my mother: I miss you, whale emoji. A good morning text as a friend clocked in for his early hospital shift: take your meds, whale emoji. After ending a phone call with a girl I loved from home: let’s do this again soon, whale emoji. On the other side of the Atlantic, a childhood friend wine-tipsy & entirely genuine in the group chat: I’m so glad I know you guys, whale emoji. Upon thanking a Half Mystic editor for turning in a revision: I really appreciate all your guidance, whale emoji. None of these people know of each other’s existence. The love in my life is coalescing into some stunning universal language, enigma-thawed & light-framed, unknown to & untranslatable by anyone but me.